Uniform On | The Unauthorized Bash Brothers Experience

The Lonely Island

Uniform On | The Unauthorized Bash Brothers Experience

From The Unauthorized Bash Brothers Experience on Netflix.

Visionary artists (and lifelong Oakland Athletics fans) The Lonely Island, pay tribute to legendary baseball gods, Jose Canseco and Mark McGwire AKA the Bash Brothers, in a long-form visual poem set in 1988.

Watch & listen to the full length experience: here

LYRICS
She said she wants to fuck me with my uniform ON
She grabbed me by the bat, now it’s going, going, GONE
I never finish sex cause I’m so juiced OUT
But she nutted 3 times, then we BASHED then I BOUNCED
I reside in Blackhawk, in a big fucking HOUSE
My community is gated cause I don’t strike OUT
Got room with CHAIR, got a room with a COUCH
Got a framed photograph of the time I met ALF
You know I’m not a hamburger but they call me big MAC
Got the one ton jimmy and the itty bitty SACK
My balls shrinky dinky cause the ‘roids so STRONG
But it makes the aforementioned jimmy-jam look LONG
The name is MARK, and no I’m not MORK
And yes I eat PORK, cause it’s tasty on my FORK
And no, I’m not a JORK, but I’ll jork it out the PORK
Cause Noah shoulda had the Bash Brothers on his ORK
We are the perfect pair
To start a new society
Filled with home-run hitting
Gold-gloved goliathes
Here’s what I found on the web for what’s the plural of goliath: goliaths.
Ooooohhhh!
We’re goliaths, baby-boy
Kirk Gibson’s a pariah, baby-boy
I work out with a tire, baby-boy
I wonder who could lift it higher, baby-boy
Aaaaaaahh! Lift that tire, bitch!
Put your back in it and lift it higher, bitch!
Stab that needle in my ass til I am rich
Make me a god with the chemical sciences
Aaaaaah! Baseball, baseball,
He-man hit the baseball by the power of greyskull
Rip the skin off and eat the brains out the baseball
Gonna run a motherfucking train on the baseball
Aaaaaah! Don’t tell me to be fucking calm
Whip out my dick on the jumbotron
Rip out my bones cause my muscles so strong
Now the pain so bad that my motherfucking heart stop—

Length: 2:05

Date: May 23, 2019

Album: The Unauthorized Bash Brothers Experience

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